Metacognitive Mermaids

Mermaids make sense to me. I get that I can’t live in a world that has dragons, fairies, and centaurs. It’s taken me 26 years, but I finally (begrudgingly) accept that fact. But mermaids? Hell, mermaids make more sense to me than human beings do, and I’m at least 94% sure that humans exist in the real world.

Here’s my reasoning: We live on a planet that is primarily water. Specifically saltwater, which is incapable of sustaining human life. Our planet’s most abundant resource isn’t even suitable to our needs. Thus, our planet does not seem to be really set up to sustain human life as much as it seems to be suitable for aquatic creatures. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if human beings are, in fact, the earth’s anomalies. I mean, it’s nice that the our planet decided not to waste any space, but it still seems like we were the afterthought that was invited to the party only after the host found out there was an empty table left.

It makes more sense to me that our most developed creatures on earth would be ones that could survive in the most affluent substance available, rather than evolution deciding to allow the creates with so little room for reproduction space to somehow be the most advanced lifeforms. And, since I’d prefer living in a world with fantasy creatures, I choose to believe that the most advanced (hitherto unconfirmed) creature on Earth is a mermaid. Part human. Part fish. Seems reasonable to me.

Now. Do you realize how arrogant it is of me to believe that he most advanced life form on Earth has to be related to human beings somehow? Since we are most aware of and comprehensive about our own brain’s workings and thought processes, we  assume that those are the most advanced examples of thought. After all, I’m able to write this blog post right now, which is just filled with metacognitive musings. In fact, a lot of my posts are just me trying to figure things out. That’s pretty advanced, right?

But what if it’s not? What if dolphins are telepathic or capable of thought processes that are so incredibly beyond us that we are just like children wrapping uncoordinated hands around crayons? What if that weird chittering sound they make are actually dolphins laughing at us in the same way we laugh at an infant’s cooing? What if whales accept our tracking mechanisms in the same way that parents allow their toddler to put bows in their hair? It’s completely possible that more advanced animals are just humoring us in the same way that we humor less intelligent creatures who don’t know any better.

I really can’t wrap my mind around how arrogant it is for us to assume that we’re the most intelligent creatures there are. We are highly outnumbered by animals just on EARTH, and yet there are still people out there who think we’re the only intelligent life in the universe. The UNIVERSE. That’s like going to the beach, picking up a single grain of sand, and then just assuming that every other grain of sand on the planet is exactly like (or less impressive) than that one. Madness.

Anyway. That’s why I think there are mermaids out there. Partly because I think that it makes sense from an evolutionary point of view, and partly because I really need to live in the world where the fantastical is real. I need to live in a world where the greatest things I can imagine are barely able to touch the amazing truth. If I can’t have dragons, at least my mind can wander into the thus-unexplored depths of our oceans instead.


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