A Tiny Question About the Implications of Facebook

So… today I had a post that said “CANCER SUCKS share if you agree” show up on my Facebook feed 6 times. I didn’t share it at all. Is it assumed that I (and everyone like me that didn’t share it) is just sitting at home saying “Yeah. No. Cancer’s pretty okay?” Because, in case you’re wondering, I don’t think anyone thinks that. At all. In the world. Do we need to share the post to convince people that we do, in fact, think that cancer sucks? Is that not implied?

Facebook makes me constantly wonder if I’m a jerk because of my disuse of the “like” and “share” button. Also, it seems that people think that their respective deities hold Facebook in incredibly high regard, because it’s crazy how many pictures I see of people praying through a picture with comic sans font next to it. How did God hear our prayers before we had a convenient thumbs up button to do the work for us? Do any of the people who hit those “like” and “share” buttons actually offer up a short little prayer at the same time? Because I feel like that tiny extra bit of effort is probably worth more than a mouse click. If I don’t do the mouse-click thing, do the gods assume that I don’t care what happens to the person in the comic-sans picture? OMG. Am I a Satan worshiper? Because more than a few of those posts have said “those who love God/humanity/etc. will share this. Those that don’t, won’t.”  How did I become an agent of darkness without even knowing about it??

I just looked, and in the last year I’ve shared WAY more goat videos than prayers. So… that implies I DO actually worship the devil, right? Because he’s often depicted with a goat head, and I share goat videos… And it’s pretty much implied that if someone shot a video of the devil with a goat head screaming like a human during the chorus of a Taylor Swift song… I would definitely share that. Because that shit’s hilarious.

*sigh.* I don’t understand the internet sometimes.

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