“But What If You’re Raped?”

I have no idea why I’m roped into the topic of abortion as often as I am. But I’ll tell you what I tell everyone else: Politically, I don’t think I can ever tell someone else what is best for their baby, their body, or their future. It is not my place to support a black-and-white law that affects thousands of people I don’t know and whose stories I don’t have business knowing. Personally, however, I’m not sure I can ever see myself in a situation where an abortion is the solution. A lot of people accept this response and say they understand it. Every now and again, though, I get someone who’s pro-choice and they hear the last part and jump in with “but what if you’re raped??”

First of all, I already said that I’m pro-choice and your hypothetical involving the worst possible scenario are not welcome or helpful. Using such a tragedy that happens to thousands of people every year should not help your case in any way, and I kind of hate pro-choicers who take this route. But you know what? Fine. Let’s answer your question.

“What if you’re raped?”

If I’m raped and conceive a child, then as far as I’m concerned what happens after that is none of your goddamned business.

If I carry that child to term and tell him from day one that I’m his mother and my husband is his father, that’s none of your business.

If I tell him from the beginning that his father is a bad man but his daddy is my husband, that’s none of your business.

If I put him up for adoption, that’s none of your business.

WHY I put him up for adoption (finances, career, memories, seeing the rapist’s face in his eyes, whatever) is none of your business.

If I am, for whatever reason, unable to carry that child to term, it’s none of your business.

Here’s what IS your business:

Creating a culture where “what if you’re raped?” is NOT our go-to scenario for possible pregnancies.

Create a culture where instead of “how to prevent getting raped” seminars on campus, we have “don’t fucking rape people, you stupid piece of shit” seminars.

Create a culture where instead of giving girls rape whistles and telling them to avoid being alone we give boys a set of bolt cutters and tell them to use them to cut down what they can’t control.

Create a culture where victims of rape aren’t pitied for their (almost always expected) permanent self-esteem issues but who slut-shamed if they come out of it with any shred of self-confidence at the end of the ordeal.

Create a culture where the rapist is at least held to the same 9 month-18 year sentence that his victim is apparently expected to endure. No more of this 3 fucking months shit.

THAT’S your business in rape culture. Stop focusing on the victims—women and unexpected children—and start focusing on the shits that make their welfare such a priority or even an issue. You want to prevent rape-related abortion? START BY PREVENTING RAPE. Want to prevent rape? Focus on those who might do the raping, not those who might be raped.



2 thoughts on ““But What If You’re Raped?”

  1. Saying that you can’t make that decision for yourself is exactly what pro-choice is. So, I’m uncertain why you refer to “pro-choicers” as though they are a group that doesn’t include you. Though them trying to throw that in as some kind of weird way to force you to possibly admit that you would be willing to entertain the idea is way beyond not okay. That aside, FUCK YES, everything else you said, and more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Politically, I am a pro-choicer, which I think I openly stated in the first sentence and again in the second paragraph. That’s why I think it’s weird that people who apparently agree with me bring up this argument time and again, despite the fact that it’s morbid and unnecessary. They’ve already won whatever argument they’re trying to make by having me agree with their view. lol. Pro-lifers have never said this, so it seemed justified to point out the group that consistently uses this asinine argument. Should I have written “other” pro-choicers to alleviate the confusion?


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